Category Archives: Personal Growth

Dec 24 2008
6 Comments
Missional Living, Outreach, Personal Growth, Teaching, Theology

That sinking feeling

Have you ever had that sinking feeling?

I have, and I’ll be you have too if  you’re old enough to be reading this.

I remember when, as a six year old, I decided to shoot my neighbor’s storm window with my new B.B. gun. I didn’t think I’d get caught, but I did, and when I knew what was coming next (i.e. a bottom dusting from my mom) I experienced that sinking feeling.

I remember when I was ten my neighborhood buddies and I decided to leave freshly fallen pine cones in the bird bath all day long (so they’d get nice and waterlogged). When the evening came, we took our arsenal and hid in the bushes near the road and pegged the first couple of cars that drove by. When a hot-headed driver screeched to a halt, got out of his dented car, and began yelling obscenities at us, our carefully planned escape routes were forgotten. Our gang of mischief makers were supposed to have run through the woods AWAY from all of our houses, but instead everyone ran straight to my back yard in full view of the angry man. It wasn’t long until he was pulling into my driveway and knocking on the door to my house. That sinking feeling again … I knew what was coming!

I remember when I was a twelve year old 8th grader at CAC (where I was later on the state champ baseball team with this guy), my 2nd period English teacher (Miss Moss) had me leave class to pick something up for her from the main office. On my way back I passed a classroom chocked full of students facing the doorway so they could see out. Coach Jeff Daniels was lecturing on American History with his back turned toward the hallway, and as I passed by every eye in the classroom was on me. Seeing a couple of my football buddies on the front row, I decided to do the reasonable thing – grin widely and flip them off. Little did I know that my football’s coach’s wife had come around the corner at the other end of the hallway with a clear view of the birdy I was waving. When she approached me and grabbed my arm to lead me back to the office – you guessed it – that sinking feeling fell upon me. I knew what was coming!

QUICK SIDENOTE: Believe it or not, Russell Quattlebaum – CAC’s dean of students in 1992 – could really swing a paddle hard! I remember watching his feet while bent over grabbing my ankles. He actually pivoted and put his weight into his swings (just like I did when I swung my baseball bat) and absolutely tattooed my behind. I cried so hard my nose bled (abuse)!

But those are just kid stories, and kind of funny now.

I could tell you plenty of other true stories of times in my life where facing the consequences of my own stupid actions have caused me to experience that sinking feeling in such a way that those silly stories I just shared are just that – silly stories.

I’ve been to jail more than once. I’ve battled a fierce addiction to illegal substances. I’ve battled depression, and I’ve destroyed relationships. I’ve watched people’s lives literally fall apart before my eyes due to the destructive habits I’d helped them nurture, and have wept while experiencing their pain by proxy.

Regardless of a person’s background, if you’ve lived on this planet in human form you’ve likely done something really stupid – really horrible – and had to face the consequences of it as a result. I don’t know what’s worse – actually experiencing the consequences, or that sinking feeling you get the first moment you find out you’re going to have to face them.

This train of thought began for me after reading Acts 2 with fresh eyes last night. For quite some time now, I’ve been meditating on the idea of Christ-centered community. Acts 2:42-47 is one of my favorite passages of Scripture because it paints a picture of what a truly Christ-centered community looks like.

Check it out:

Acts 2:42-47
42 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.
43 Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles.
44 All the believers were together and had everything in common.
45 Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.
46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts,
47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
(NIV)

Wow. How different of a picture does that passage paint than what most people experience with “church” today?

I love this – I want to be part of this – I want to help this come into being. The “this” I speak of is what this passage describes – a community of believers devoted to all the right things – to God, to one another, and to seeing the world changed for the better.

I want to be part of a church where I can take my shoes off – where Pharisees are few and fellowship is frequent – where being devoted is a delight and consumer-Christianity is minimal if present at all – where sacrifices are made, needs are met, and praise for the Savior has a permanent home on the lips of the people. I want to be part of a true, Christ-centered community.

I’ve experienced this type of community before and am sure I will again, but I’ve also been part of faith communities where certain aspects from the latter part of Acts 2 were noticeably missing (and no, I don’t plan on naming names :p).

As I pondered this last night during my Bible study, a profound truth from Acts 2 struck me. The events leading up to the formation of the community were very special – very special indeed.

In verse 17 Peter begins preaching the first recorded sermon following the ascension of Christ into heaven to the crowd in Jerusalem. While there are people in the crowd from all over the world, the majority of those listening were Jews (hence Peter says “fellow Jews” in v.14 then makes a reference to the Pentecost fast that wasn’t quite over in v.15).

As I read last night, I tried to put myself in the place of the Jews as they listened to Peter. Each time I think about the crowd Peter is addressing, in my mind’s eye I go back to the scenes from the movie The Passion of the Christ surrounding the trial before Pilate, subsequent beatings of Jesus, and demands for His crucifixion.

That crowd, led by the Pharisees, demanded Jesus’ life be snuffed out in the most horrific way possible, and that same crowd – many, the same ones who demanded Jesus be crucified – were the ones Peter addresses in Acts 2.

Put yourself in their shoes for a moment and listen to what Peter has to say:

Acts 2:22-36
22 “Men of Israel, listen to this: Jesus of Nazareth was a man accredited by God to you by miracles, wonders and signs, which God did among you through him, as you yourselves know.

  • “Jesus was God’s man. In your heart you know this because what mere man could heal the blind? Who else has helped a lame man up to his feet and urged him to take a stroll down the road? Who else has raised the dead?!? You know in your heart Jesus was God’s man.” This was the beginning of that sinking feeling for the Jews in the crowd.

23 This man was handed over to you by God’s set purpose and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men, put him to death by nailing him to the cross.
24 But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him.

  •  “The Lord of all creation gave this man – His man – to you, but instead of welcoming Him with open arms you beat Him, spit on Him,  ridiculed Him, and tortured Him until he died! But guess what – He’s alive again!” That sinking feeling is getting more intense.

25 David said about him: “‘I saw the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
26 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will live in hope,
27 because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
28 You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.’
29 “Brothers, I can tell you confidently that the patriarch David died and was buried, and his tomb is here to this day.
30 But he was a prophet and knew that God had promised him on oath that he would place one of his descendants on his throne.
31 Seeing what was ahead, he spoke of the resurrection of the Christ, that he was not abandoned to the grave, nor did his body see decay.
32 God has raised this Jesus to life, and we are all witnesses of the fact.

  • Quoting David – the most revered king in Jewish history who brought Israel into its golden age – would have had special significance to the listening Jews. God had promised King David that He would establish his throne forever by placing someone on it whose rule would be everlasting. Scriptures like 2 Samuel 7:13 and 7:16, Psalms 89:36, and Isaiah 9:6, 7 were well known to the Jews. They’d been expectantly waiting for this new king descended from David to come for over 1,000 years – this warrior king who would rescue them from their oppressors and bless the world with His presence. To make the connection here – that Jesus was this Davidic king promised long ago – would have completely changed their perspective on the crime committed. Before, they’d simply killed a man unjustly, but now they’re finding out they’d killed the very one they’d been praying God would send them – the promised Messiah! The One who would save the Jews – the one one whom their future rested – there was just one major problem … they’d killed Him! Is the entire future of their nation now in jeopardy because they’d severed their lifeline?!? At this point, they were experiencing that sinking feeling quite unlike any other …

33 Exalted to the right hand of God, he has received from the Father the promised Holy Spirit and has poured out what you now see and hear.
34 For David did not ascend to heaven, and yet he said, “‘The Lord said to my Lord: “Sit at my right hand
35 until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet.” ‘
36 “Therefore let all Israel be assured of this: God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Christ.”
(NIV)

… they weren’t just fearing for their lives – they were fearing for the very future of the Jewish nation. They were fearing for their children’s lives and their children’s children.

37 When the people heard this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?”

They were “cut to the heart.” Reading over this quickly it’s easy to miss what this statement means. There is no fear quite like the fear of God’s impending wrath, and the Jews in Acts 2 were experiencing it as intensely as a group of people ever had up to that point in history. Their lives were over! They felt that sinking feeling like none had ever experienced that sinking feeling, and the question they asked (“What shall we do?”) was not asked casually – it was a question born out of desperation and hopelessness!

A better way to read it would be, “What shall we do!?!”

My intuition tells me that they were expecting to hear something like “wild dogs will invade the city, eat your children before your eyes, then eat you” (or something equally as vicious) and they were notexpecting to hear what Peter said next, so can you imagine their surprise at Peter’s response found in the following verses:

38 Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.
39 The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off– for all whom the Lord our God will call.”

Then in verse 41:

41 Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day.

Are you still thinking the way the Jews in this situation would think? For those 3,000, can you imaginethe feeling of gratitude they were feeling at this point? The intensity of their gratitude would have equally matched the intensity of that sinking feeling they’d woefully experienced just before, and this beautiful picture of Christ-centered community was born out of this magical feeling.

That’s what I’d missed before. That’s the profound truth that struck me last night. Genuine, Christ-centered community has its roots in gratitude to God!

When a person understands how lost they were, how hopeless they’d become, and what a gift they’ve been given in Jesus joy follows! It overflows and manifests itself in devotion, in praise, in miracles, and in fellowship.

For those communities I’ve been a part of where it felt the least like what’s described in Acts 2, gratitude toward God for salvation was missing. Most of the people making up the community had grown up in the church. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing – only that I believe they’d might have taken for granted what God had done for them.

In the communities I’ve been a part of that felt the most like what’s described at the end of Acts 2, gratitude for God was ever present because most of the people making up the group were newly saved (relatively speaking) and we were constantly seeing more saved. We weren’t just hearing stories about God changing people’s lives, we were witnessing them first hand!

That sinking feeling our hopeless lives helped produce had been transformed into intense gratitude that was ever present on our hearts and minds and frequent in our conversation. That’s what it looks like when you’re part of a ministry that is making contact with a lost world – when you’re impacting the lives of people who so desperately need a Savior – when Jesus makes that sinking feeling go away by forgiving your sins and promising you the brightest future imaginable!

The gratitude born out of the transition between being purposeless, hopeless, and lost to being purposeful, hopeful, and gloriously found – that’s the root of Acts 2 community.

Without it, you’re just a social club.

Merry CHRISTmas.

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Nov 17 2008
1 Comment
Books, Devotional Thoughts, Discipling, Personal Growth, Resources, Theology

Porn Again Christian – Free eBook from Driscoll

“… because of technology, it is now easier to see someone naked than to get something out of the fridge – to get to the fridge you at least need to stand up and walk.”
– Mark Driscoll, Porn Again Christian, p. 8

I was addicted to pornography for years, and can remember thinking at one point there was no way I’d ever be able to stop. Porn was like a vice grip – it seemed to hold on no matter how bad I wanted to get away from it.

What’s worse is after I became a Christian, not only did I learn that viewing porn is a sin, but impure thought is as well. As a young man in my early twenties who’d been highly sexually active up to that point in my life, I viewed controlling my sexual thoughts, not just as a little hard or kind of a challenge, but as a complete impossibility.

If my feelings were hopeless about ceasing to view internet porn, then they were more along the lines of suicidal with regard to controlling my thoughts.

That being said, I’m all for anything that will help men overcome unhealthy sexual addiction. The full version of Porn Again Christian: A Frank Discussion on Pornography & Masturbation (a short book by Mark Driscoll) was released today for free download.

I just finished reading the book this morning. Driscoll touches on a lot of different sexual issues affecting the lives of men today, and he doesn’t pull any punches.

This would be great material for any Christian man struggling with sexual addiction to read, and would also be good for a men’s accountability group to read and discuss. By the way, this book was written by a dude for other dudes. The tone isn’t meant for ladies.

Mark speaks very frankly about pornography, masturbation, lust, healthy marital sex, prostitution (and how it’s tied to illegal sex slavery most of the time), Ted Bundy, and the man’s role as spiritual leader in society. Mark is engaging, to the point, and, as I said before, he pulls no punches. Some people find his style offensive, but I find it refreshing – especially since he’s dealing with the topic of sinful sexual addiction – something that has plagued mankind since ancient times.

Those of you reading this blog who struggle with the topic I’m writing about today – be encouraged! I overcame my sexual addiction when I got serious about addressing the problem by sharing it with others – something I absolutely didn’t want to do because of my pride and self righteousness.

The Bible teaches repentance (i.e. actually changing) brings forgiveness (Acts 3:19), and confession brings healing (James 5:16). The Bible also teaches you’ll never be tempted beyond what you can bear (1 Corinthians 10:13). In other words, there’s always a way out – you’re never without hope. It could be, however, that if you continue to struggle silently, you will be hopeless. I was.

Have a problem with sexual addiction? Find someone who 1) is a serious follower of Jesus, and 2) you can trust. Confess your struggle to them, ask them to pray for you, and give them permission to ask how you’re doing from time to time. Prayer is always a good idea and always helps, and your knowing they’ll be asking you how you’ve been doing will serve as added spiritual protection for you – something called accountability. It could be that this has been missing from your life.

The Catholic Church has not cornered the market on confession. If you aren’t a practicing confessor, you should be. Confession and accountability are powerful tools to use in your spiritual battle.

To go a step further in attacking your problem (as I did), visit the Triple-X Church’s website (that’s www.xxxchurch.com), scroll down a little, and download the free version of X3 Watch – a program that sends all of the links of the websites you visit to one or two email addresses of your choice – those could be your accountability partner, wife, preacher, elder, or grandma. If you know someone else you love and respect is going to be checking out the websites you visit, will you be a bit more careful in what you access? Probably so.

If you’re struggling with looking at porn these devices may help, but they will not cure your problem. Indeed, they helped me, but didn’t cure my problem.

As Driscoll says in his book, looking at porn is a problem, but it isn’t the real problem – only a symptom of the real problem. The real problem is a heart problem – a heart that isn’t in complete submission to God.

The symptoms may change, but will never fully go away until the real problem is remedied. We must submit our hearts to God through following Jesus, and not just by talking about it, but by doing it.

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Sep 11 2008
11 Comments
Corporate Worship, Personal Growth, Simple Church, Small Groups, Theology

Simple Church, Complex Reasoning Pt. I

For almost three years, I attended Sunday church in a local coffee shop with a group of friends.

The paradigm shift began for me in 2004. I was tasked with organizing and training leaders for a new small group ministry in the Bay Area Church of Christ’s 75 member campus ministry in Tampa, FL. To prepare, I’d gotten my hands on Buddy Bell’s small group training video series (which is excellent – here’s a good article by Buddy on small groups for your reading pleasure), popped the first DVD lesson in, and sat back to watch.

“You know what happened in 313 A.D.,” Buddy asked. “In 313 A.D., the Roman Emperor Constantine converted to Christianity making it the state religion. A few years later the first church building (a cathedral) was built. For the first time in history, 300 years after the ascension of Jesus, people were staring at the back of each other’s heads listening to one man talk to them from a stage as their chief form of spiritual nourishment. The church went from being people centered to being preacher centered, and from being relationally focused to materially (building) focused. The advent of the church building has been one of the most successful, and most disastrous, things that has ever been introduced into church culture” (that’s nowhere near an exact quote, but what I remember taking from his lesson).

It was like this light went off in my head. Woah.

“The way most ‘do church,'” I thought, “doesn’t meet many people’s needs. It doesn’t develop leaders. It doesn’t give people an opportunity to exercise or discover their gifts in the assembly. It doesn’t allow all the teachers to teach, it doesn’t allow all the encouragers to encourage, and it doesn’t allow all the servants to serve. If someone has something God has laid on their heart to share, most of the time they’re forced to share it privately if at all. If someone has been led to write a spiritual song, what chance do they have of singing it? Who in the world said ministry should be a one way street? What if the preacher – the centerpiece of everything spiritual in that type of assembly – has had a terrible week and needs to be ministered to himself? What if he’s struggling with some secret sin – like an addiction to pornography – that no one else knows about? Should we really rely on one person to feed so many? Where did the idea for a ‘worship leader’ come from? And what in the world is up with quietly passing those plates around? I certainly don’t read about that in the Bible.”

These thoughts ran through my head every time I attended a Sunday gathering somewhere. “Something is missing,” I thought.

And I was right – in many churches, something is missing.

 

Restoration Movement?

As most readers here know, I’m a proud member of the fellowship known as the Churches of Christ. Since I was but a wee lad, I’ve attended churches with CoC roots. I did take a hiatus for quite a few years when my belief wavered and I saw no point to Christianity at all, but when God helped me overcome doubts, gave me the gift of my now unwavering faith, and I truly made Christ my Lord at the age of 23, I came back to the CoC.

The Churches of Christ represent one of the three main branches of something that started in the 1800s known as the Restoration Movement. The RM started as a unity movement. The plea of the leaders centered around encouraging those from Catholic, Orthodox, and denominational (Methodist, Baptist, Presbyterian, etc.) circles to return to New Testament forms of worship and doctrinal teaching. They believed that mainstream churches had veered away from the doctrines and traditions of the early church fathers mainly because they’d added to (or largely ignored) what’s to be learned about the first-century church through studying the Bible. They believed that, at it’s core, the idea of having a “denomination” was divisive and wrong. They didn’t believe the world should be full of Catholic Christians, Baptist Christians, or Methodist Christians – rather, the world should be full of Christians – no more, and no less. Thus, later came the mantra, “We are Christians only, but not the only Christians” (that last bit seems to have been forgotten by some).

I’m amazed at how many members of Restoration Movement Churches of Christ remain ignorant of the history surrounding our heritage. Many have accepted the traditions passed down from their fathers and mothers having never taken the time to examine where those traditions came from, why we are where we are today in our views, or why we practice the things we practice.

If you have a bit of time, I highly recommend reading over Thomas Campbell’s Declaration and Address– the remarkable document that eventually led to the modern Restoration Movement. If you have less time, Wikipedia has a good synopsis of it as well as some background info on Thomas Campbell. Here’s a quote:

“… division among the Christians is a horrid evil, fraught with many evils. It is antichristian, as it destroys the visible unity of the body of Christ; as if he were divided against himself, excluding and excommunicating a part of himself. It is antiscriptural, as being strictly prohibited by his sovereign authority; a direct violation of his express command. It is antinatural, as it excites Christians to contemn, to hate, and oppose one another, who are bound by the highest and most endearing obligations to love each other as brethren, even as Christ has loved them….”  

 

The Wikipedia article correctly points out that there’s always existed a tension in the RM between unity and restoration. In Churches of Christ, the ideal of restoration won out over the ideal of unity long ago. We are a fellowship that prides ourselves on doing things the way they were done in the first century, and on teaching things the way they were taught in the first century … but can we really make that claim?

Sure, we can make the claim, but I’m in Texas right now and know of a cult up the highway in Waco that made the claim too. I guess a better question is this: is the claim really true?

 

Similar, but different.

While there are many similarities between what mainstream Churches of Christ teach and practice and what the first century Christians taught and practiced, there are some striking differences as well, and, as far as church practice goes (or “doing church”), the differences greatly outweigh the similarities. I’m not going to go into great detail about those differences in this article, but I will say that a group of believers meeting in coffee shop looks more like New Testament Christianity than a run-of-the-mill CoC gathering on a Sunday morning in a building that’s been financed by the congregants.

As far as church doctrine goes, Churches of Christ nail baptism in my opinion. I believe as the Bible teaches, that something supernatural happens when a person decides to make a public declaration of their faith in Jesus through being baptized in water. If I’m studying with someone and they decide they want to become a Christian, I don’t advocate they say the sinner’s prayer or ask Jesus to come into their heart so they can be saved – I teach that they should turn away from the sin in their life, make a commitment to live with Jesus as their Lord and master, then take them to water and immerse (baptize) them in the name of Jesus. While there are instances of the Holy Spirit working separately from baptism throughout the New Testament (especially in the book of Acts), Peter’s words to the crowd written down by Doctor Luke in Acts 2:38 have always stuck with me:

Acts 2:38
38 Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”
(NIV)

In this Scripture, Peter not only points out a person’s sins will be forgiven at baptism (Paul believed this as well – see Acts 22:16), but that they’ll also “receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” The importance of the presence of the Holy Spirit in a person’s life is articulated by Paul in Romans 8:9:

Romans 8:9
9 You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ.
(NIV)

“If you don’t have the Spirit, you’re not a Christian.” Paul’s teaching is painfully clear here, and most Churches of Christ echo this. I personally find that to be very attractive, and have found that the vast majority of denominations and other faith groups do not hold a biblical view of baptism. For those that do baptize, most teach that a person is saved before and the baptism is simply an “outward expression of an inward change.” How one can honestly teach that they are 100% sure a person is saved before their sins are washed away and before they have the Spirit is confusing to me.

I’m not so legalistic in my thinking on this issue to think that God is beyond making exceptions – He is God, after all, and there were hundreds of thousands of God-fearers before Jesus came that were never baptized who will be in heaven, and no doubt many who were converted in Roman prisons by their Christian cell-mates who never had access to enough water with which to be immersed. But I can’t tell someone I’m studying with today that they’re saved without being baptized while being intellectually honest about it. I’d be lying if I told them I thought with 100% clarity that they were saved apart from true repentance and baptism, and question marks are no good when you’re speaking in terms of where you’ll spend eternity.

I share all that to say that I really do appreciate what Churches of Christ teach regarding baptism. I believe it’s biblical and lines up with what the first-century church taught. What I believe is very unbiblical and will forever remain a stumbling block for some is this: making baptism an idol – that is, making baptism an obsession that trumps one’s relationship with Christ. In my limited experience, I’ve encountered some who’ve left me with the impression that baptism is more important to them than Jesus, and I find that to be very sad. I’ve also encountered some who’ve left me with the impression that Restoration Movement Churches of Christ are more important to them than Jesus, and that’s equally as sad.

Sunday morning worship is another hot-button issue that has the potential to be an idol – and indeed is an idol – for many. The emphasis people today put on singing is another key difference I’ve noticed between Churches of Christ and the first century church. The New Testament says surprisingly little about Sunday morning worship and singing when compared to what it says about the Lordship of Jesus and holy living, yet sometimes it seems that Sunday mornings – particularly the style of singing and whether or not instruments are used – gets more attention from “New Testament Christians” than what the New Testament talks most about – JESUS!

 

So what’s missing?

Earlier in this post I stated that I believe something is missing from many church fellowships today. In part II of this post, I’ll share what I believe that is as well as solutions to the problem, but before that I’d like to hear what you think.

What key differences do you believe exist between today’s Churches of Christ and the church of the first century? If you could change one thing your church does on a Sunday morning, what would it be? Do you believe the phrase, “We are Christians only, but not the only Christians?” Is there anything in this post your strongly agree with? Anything you strongly disagree with?

Please share your thoughts in a comment.

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